Self Love in the midst of Suicide......A Blog from The SEQ

"Self Love in the midst of suicide"

By: Dawn The Self Esteem Queen™

I remember when I used to cry at night about Kurt Cobain. Though we had never met, I was in love with Kurt Cobain and the band Nirvana. Listening to them kept me sane and out of the state of depression which I had made my home as a teenager. I cried because I would have never thought that Kurt Cobain was in mental pain. 

Often we never know the inner purgatory that other people dwell in. This past weekend a friend and mentor of mine by the name of Trey Pennington committed suicide in front of his family church. He had been depressed due to a divorce and although people said that he seemed to be doing better, there are many people who have no idea about chemical imbalances and the battle with depression.

Sometimes, it's difficult to have Self Love while you're in the midst of so much hate and discord. You think back to the times of happiness and ask yourself how it ever got so bad that you now found yourself in the midst of chaos and confusion. When you are the type of person who thrives in happiness, the downward spiral of dysfunction can be detrimental to your health. When we second guess our abilities to deal with trials and tribulations we lose sight of the reason we go though such things.

I think about each and every person I've read about who has had some sort of success in life. 9 1/2 out of 10 will tell you that at the moment they thought to give up they gave in and the breakthrough came. Most of us don't know how to love ourselves through the pain. We think that if God really loved us we would somehow be able to experience the pain easier but this is not reality. Sometimes, you must experience pain the exact way you experience it to learn a lesson or to teach a lesson to someone else.

My name is Dawn, and I'm a suicide survivor. It took me many years to talk about this simply because I was embarrassed that I didn't know how to control my depression. As a teenager I experienced life a little different than other people and I found myself living with relatives that "hated" me when I was 14. Imagine living somewhere where you know you're not wanted or appreciated....That was my teenage life.

My first suicide attempt was unsuccessful because I knew I really didn't want to die. It took me years to really understand that no matter what people say about me, how people feel about me, and no matter what people's perception is of me, I had to love myself for who I was despite the opinions of others.

Often the root of depression and suicidal thoughts lies in the condemnation we hold over our heads based on the way other people (who may or may not be worthy of us even caring) think about us. I will tell people in a minute; "Your personal opinion of me is none of my business." Loving yourself while dealing with depression can sometimes mean NOT dealing with other people. Some people don't know how to be empathetic to your pain. Some people don't care to know. It's not your job to try and explain depression or how you feel to someone else.

I personally believe that most people don't let go and let God often enough. We hold on hoping that we can make sense of "this mess" when in reality God isn't asking us to make sense of it at all. He simply is asking us to allow Him to have his way so that we may teach someone while we learn ourselves.

Dawn The Self-Esteem Queen™

© 2011 Dawn The Self-Esteem Queen™ All rights reserved. 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR - With a knack for bouncing back when faced with the most difficult adversity, Dawn The Self Esteem Queen™ has quickly become known for her ability to get people out the "victim" mindset immediately. An Internationally Recognized Rescuer of Teenage Prostitutes and Runaways, Motivational Speaker, Author, Mentor and Spiritual Life Coach, Dawn "The SEQ" uses her experience with trials to mentor, minister, and coach people all over the World. One of today's leading experts on Teen Mentoring, Self-Esteem Enhancement, and Servant Leadership, Dawn's mission in life is to teach individuals how to BE BETTER Human Beings.

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